How to Tour in a Band (or Whatever)

Tour Bus 2 INTEL 2011

Only three of these men made it home alive.

We found this this morning and thought that we should share it with our fans across the country who have come to our shows and asked, “can we come on the bus?” and also “will you buy me a drink?” but mostly “what’s it like to tour?” Answer: Touring is hard work, but it’s a lot of fun, as long as nobody is a buttface.

Here’s the link to the original; we’ve carefully selected a few of Thor’s points which are especially relevant to our particular tours.

  • Don’t lose shit. Everyone loses shit. Don’t do it. Asshole.
  • Eat oranges (or apples; Sam Says Eat Apples). Cures constipation and keeps you from getting sick.
  • Sound check is for checking sounds. Shut up.
  • Touring makes everyone bi-polar. Ride the waves as best you can and remember, moods pass. So don’t make any snap decisions or declarations when you are drunk or insane, GORDON.
  • Fast food is poison. Not the band Poison. The actual poison. The kind of poison that will kill you. Which, I guess technically, could be the band Poison. Or maybe they just make you wish you were dying.
  • The guest list is for friends, family & people you might want to fuck. Everyone else can pay. They have day jobs.

You can catch the boys and girls on and off the bus at an upcoming show, and we really think that you should do that. We’d love to see you.

Caz Tour Bus  Actual Talnt

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